As we were leaving SCBU I glanced up to look at the sign pointing the way to the Special Care Baby Unit, had a wee gulp and turned back to Simon who immediately put his hand up to high five me.
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I love that the rose tinted glasses have come one. It makes me feel good to be at that stage.
I'm truly going to miss some of their faces. There were so many favourite nurses, social workers, speech language therapists. So many who patted my knee as I cried during the dark days of day 41-46, doctors who reassured and rubbed my back, back and forth, back and forth. Listening to jokes bantered around in the nurses lounge. Watching new doctor students try to handle a new, very small and delicate baby. Tales of cat antics from crazy cat nurses and weekends going to concerts with grown daughters. Talking about babies and life with new mums, nurse and patient alike. I got to know some of them quite well. We were on first name basis with them all.
It feels weird to not go have to back, to not even say goodbye to most of them. I was happy to see that some of my favourites were on shift yesterday, it was good to be able to wave goodbye and them be sad to see us go but happy for us.
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I'm not going to miss the noise. the never ending constant noise. The revolving doors of babies, in and then out.
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I got up this morning and sort of went 'oh', as I just realised our morning routine of being up and getting everyone dressed and out the door is less hurried today, there is no feed I'm going to miss at hospital if Zander doesn't get his shoes on this instant or has to be dragged to the loo to poo.
I know its early days, early days with half of our family sick with the lurgy even. And there are going to be a lot of long sleep deprived nights ahead... but it feels good. It feels so good for our family, of now six, to be home. Together.
Amazing, lady <3
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